poetry | catharsis

Oftentimes, I put myself inside an aquarium–
The safest place to hide; to drown.
Why do I do that?
Isn’t it lonely?
It’s okay, the glass breaks, anyway.
And in those rare moments when it does,
I see how beautiful caustic lights are.
I touch it like how I’d hold life in my hands–
I can’t; it slips.
It always slips away.

But with the aquarium broken–
It takes a while for my vision to adjust,
And my lungs burn.
Why do I have to beg for air?
Still, I breathe.
The more it aches, the more I have to breathe.

And on days like this–
When I get to experience what it’s like outside my personal blue hole
I can feel the wind that makes the trees dance;
The same wind that puts the fire out.
The fire that lights up again to paint the sky–
With flushes of dreams, of hopes, of better tomorrows.

Yet it has the same color as the aquarium I caged myself in.

It’s different.
Here, I have you.
I have everyone.
I like it here.
Can I stay?

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Another month is over! I just suddenly had this urge to write this while I was doing this “monthly dump” on Instagram. While I was scrolling through my camera roll, I realized that it is once again filled with photos. And then I had this thought, “I like my monthly dumps, they look like I’m really trying to live.” 😭

And then I got scared all of a sudden. “What would relapse look like after this; amidst all of this????” I know that’s just my anxiety talking, so I wanted to write this.

I like it here. I like it here. I like it here.

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[ 4th prompt: catharsis, the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions. ]

[ Here’s Semi’s Catharsis piece ]

Prompts by S 🌿
1. Sonder
2. Opia
3. Backmasking